“Distance means so little when someone means so much”
— Tom McNeal
Korede met his girlfriend, Lolade on facebook as he was preparing for his NYSC program in Ondo, Nigeria, she on the other hand, stays in Lagos, Nigeria. Together for eight months and still counting, he believes that there is nothing so wrong in dating someone who is not living close to you.
He said “The key to long distance relationship is trust. Once there is trust, there is nothing else to worry about.” These amongst others contribute to building of a long-lasting relationship even though you both are far apart.
Some long distance relationships last longer even leading to marriage than normal relationships. It all depends on the level of commitment, trust and other ingredients put in large quantities that will determine the success of the relationship.
If you are interested in someone who so far away, and you are wondering how to manage the relationship, these are tips that will help you to maintain and sweeten your long distance relationship.
Commitment is key. For long distance relationship to work, you have to put in more commitment than normal relationships. You need to be ready to deal with pangs of loneliness, of longing. You have to stay true to the relationship no matter the hurdle.
Communication is one of the major ingredients needed. Though it may seem harder because of the distance but it is not impossible. Constant calls and videochatting can fill the vacuum of your partner’s absence.
A good messaging app like Whatsapp, Facebook e.t.c can also help reduce cost and allow you keep in touch constantly. Avoid over-communication though, calling every second might choke your partner and rob you of time to develop yourself. Creatively updating each other on the things happening in your life on a regular basis.
3. It’s an opportunity
People tend to feel that to know a person very well, you need to be around them all the time, while that may be true, when you don’t see each every day, you will get to notice the pimples that spread on her face, or the lighter shade of his skin quickly than when you do everyday. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. You will be able to see the true colors of the person you are with.
4. Set ground rules
There should be a set of rules guiding your long distance relationship. Can your partner go clubbing? Or can s/he go on dates? There should be a set of dos and don’ts to protect your relationship.
5. Avoid Red Zones
Avoid any compromising situations. If you know a certain guy likes you, don’t go on dates with him. Dont invite a girl that you know is crushing on you for dinner. Avoid any situation that will destroy your relationship.
6. You are alone not lonely
You might be alone but choose not to be lonely. Since your partner is not around, use the time to develop your self. Join the gym, join a club, work on that dream you had always had. It gives you tell your partner when you communicate. Guess what time will fly and you will get to see him or her again.
7. Set Goals
Everything that has a beginning, has an end. You both should know how long you will stay apart. This will help you both to bear the distance since you know there is a logical end to it.
8. Visit each other
Visit your lover’s city or home or hook up at a middle point. Both of you should be able to see once in a while, to retake your vows of love and revitalize your love.
9. Do things together
Do things together and do similar things. Watching Games of Thrones, or reading Chiamanda Adichie’s Purple Hibiscus or playing an online together can spark flames of connection through the distance.
10. Personal Gift
Give to him or her that very artifact, amulet, beads, that special thing that means a lot to you, so that your partner can always remember that wherever your partner is, a piece of you is him or her.
Distance will increase the levels of suspicions, jealous and alertness. Being totally honest will your partner will put his or her heart at rest. Be always truthful to your partner.
12. Stalk each other on social media
Like her recent picture on Instagram, comment on his post on facebook. Show each other love on social media.
13. Talk dirty
When you communicate, talk dirty, let him or her know that s/he still appeal to you sexually. Tell him about that matching lingerie you bought or send her picture of that rock carved abs.
14. Be positive
Don’t let negativity, fear, or anxiety creep into your heart. Remain Positive. You both can have a beautiful relationship if you don’t see everyday.
Long distance relationships is not a rarity, it is common than people realize and also successful. Just believe in the relationship and it will blossom. This has been Relationship Corner with Eddie Schwaggs.