The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.” – Ernest Hemingway
Trust is the most fragile yet important thing in any kind of relationship. It is the guarantee that someone that you care about, can’t or won’t hurt you intentionally.
Some people however have trust issues which affect their relationship adversely. These trust issues may exist because of past relationships, other people experiences or even childhood experiences.
Others have trust issues because their partner keeps lying, or cheating or do some other things that may make it difficult for them to trust their partners. People with serious trust issues might always want to know their partner’s whereabouts, who they talk to, who they always call, some even go to the extreme and stalk their partner. These issues damage the relationship in more ways than one.
If you have trust issues, you have to deal with it before it destroys both you and your relationship; Love and trust are twins, you can’t love your partner totally and not trust him or her.
Whether the issues result from others’ experience, your past relationships, your partner’s character, or your childhood experiences, for you to have a healthy and happy relationship, you need to work on your trust issues.
To deal with these issues, here are some tips that will help you love and trust your partner with all your heart.
- Breathe
Focus on living, do not dwell on your trust issues. Don’t allow these issues consume you. Relax and find ways of dealing with it instead of dwelling on it as a problem or dwelling on not trusting your partner.
2. Forgive and Forget your past
The past is the past, let it go. Do not judge your present relationship based on the hurts of the past. Breathe new air, love your partner with all of your heart and together you both can build a tower of trust together. Let the past be.
3. That is them not You
Do not compare your relationship with that of anybody, don’t compare your partner with anybody, don’t compare yourself with anybody. Learn from the experiences of others but let their experiences not be the reason to have trust issues.
4. Know your partner
Understand your partner, know his or her flaws and weakness. Know if he or she can be trusted or not. If he or she can be, then learn to trust them even when some things are not easy to understand. Always remember that some things are not always what they seem.
5. Talk to your partner
Let your partner know about these issues. Together you two can work it out. If s/he has once broken your trust and is sorry about it, but you are having a hard time getting over it, talk to your partner about it and together rebuild the trust. Let your partner know about the scars of the past that holds you back from trusting them and talk it out with them.
6. Give it Time
Rome wasn’t built in a day, give it time. With time your trust will grow and it’s roots will run deeper into your relationship. It can’t be a smooth ride but then again nothing good comes easy. Don’t give up on trusting your partner and don’t give up on your relationship.
7. Don’t kill yourself
Relationship is a two way thing, your partner must also try to make the relationship work. S/he shouldn’t deliberately break your trust. If you notice that your partner is unrepentant about breaking your trust, walk away, you don’t need emotional roller-coaster in your life.
With these tips you will be able to build your trust in your relationship. Trust is one of the most essential ingredients in a relationship, don’t prepare a relationship without it. This has been Relationship Corner with Eddie Schwaggs
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