“Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.”
— Jackie Mason
Some many people quote that “money can’t buy love”, why that is true, research has shown that money issues are one of the leading causes of break ups and divorce asides infidelity. Money issues are very sensitive and can lead to various other issues. Imagine your partner spends all the money you both earn on shoes and bags, or he spends all your money on gambling or drinking. These sort of things will definitely cause a rift between you and your partner. Asides excesses, partners spend their money differently, and on different things which may affect their point of view of the other partner. Here are some mistakes some couples make and how to deal with them
1. Be a financial Literate
In some relationships, each partner fail to understand that they have to learn to deal with his/her personal finance and learn how to manage money. Don’t forget that money behaviors are habits not character. Each partner should not budget above what they can afford and depend on the other partner to supplement their wants, especially when it is on frivolous things like Brazilian hair 50 inches.
Some couples feel keeping the amount they earn from their partner is what is best. While it might be wise not to tell your partner how much you earn from the beginning of the relationship, with time, both of you should know how much is entering the relationship because you are both a team not two islands. Do not keep your earnings a secret, it’s one thing to save for a birthday or a special day, it’s other to bring your money to table so you can both plan. Secrets kills.
3. It’s not a War Zone
When issues that come out with money arise, some fail to reach a comprise on these issues, insisting their way is better, a relationship is not a war zone, it is an airplane that needs two pilots. Strive to reach a common ground on these issues, working together to solve these issues will go a long way in strengthen your relationship because you both will be overcoming a challenge.
4. Do not envy your partner salary
Always remember no matter your partner earns, it shouldn’t affect your relationship, don’t worry that she will grow wings or he will chase other women, trust your partner to be the person who s/he was before his or her salary increased and if s/he acts differently, talk to him or her.
The finance culture varies from couple to couple. The key is the find out the one that works for you. If you and your partner decide to use wooden saving box as your account or bury it underground, it all depends on you. Some will stress the importance of joint account while others will argue that single accounts are better, which ever one, find the best one that fits both of you as a couple.
If money is affecting your relationship, here are steps that can help to put your house in order.
I. Know your values
Know what matters to you, the things you need money for, what you can spend your money on. Also find out what matters most to your partner and what s/he spends money most on. When you both have figured this out things will be more easier.
II. Know yourselves
Learn your personality differences. Identify, analyze and work on your differences by finding a common ground for every item and every thing money is involved in. Do not leave any stone unturned. If you know you are a fish and your partner is a camel, find a way to work on your water bill. You and your partner should know each other as you love each other.
III. Choose a lifestyle
You both should choose a lifestyle that fits your income. From the bills, to the food, to the clothing down to the panties, pick a style you both can live without being at each other throats. Cut down excess spending, each partner should cut away frivolous spending like owning a shoe shop in your two room apartment or becoming a winery.
Talk, talk, talk. Communication can’t be overemphasized, plan with your partner. Draw a budget that both your revenue (income) and expenditure (expenses) are balanced. Plan on how spend every dime of your income, how and what to save and on everything you want to buy.
Money can’t buy love, but money can destroy it, manage your finances well so that your love will be fresh and free from troubles. This has been Relationship Corner with Eddie Schwaggs