“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”
— Friedrich Nietzsche
Some of the best relationships/marriages are those that grew from friendship. The bond of friendship makes love wax stronger and grow deeper with every passing day.
Friends urges us to be the best version of ourselves, and lovers brings out the best in us, the combination of these two can help us be the best version of us.
Though some couples don’t start as friends but that didn’t deter them from building a wonderful friendship between themselves. The periodic awkwardness that exist between lovers disappears when the two of you are friends.
The importance of being friends with your partner can’t be overemphasized, you get to act child–like, natural around your lover because he is your friend, you get to act silly and funky around her because she is your friend. Love mixed with friendship is a delicious ice-cream mix.
Many relationships crash because the couples are not friends. They forget the “getting to know each other”, the fun, the playful banter, the playfulness amongst other things and focus on the romance of the relationship.
When the bliss of dating the handsome guy or that extremely beautiful girl fades away and his/her habits start to rear it’s ugly head, the relationship falls apart because one or both parties can stand each other’s habits.
Emeka who acts likes a child with his girlfriend Fumni, says the secret of his relationship striving during hard times is the fact that he is dating his friend. Dating and eventually marrying your friend is one of the best kinds of marriage or relationship.
If you are already in relationship, and s/he is not your friend, it’s not too late to turn him or her to your friend, you can even make your partner your best friend. Here are some tips that can win the heart of your partner so that he or she can be your best friend.
1. Talk as friends
While romantic talks and relationship talks are both essential and enticing, you can also talk as friends. Talk about that friend that is always bugging you to date him, or that person who talks too much at the office or in the class. Talk about the silliest things too like how it would have been if you had super powers or if you were a warrior princess. Create exciting scenarios and laugh about the craziest things. Have inside jokes, funky slang, communicate freely.
2. Play with each other
Childish games can be fun, have fun with s/he. Have a pillow fight, chase each other around the house, playful steal his meat, playfully engage in kung-fu. Play so much with your partner, asides the fact you will be friends, you both will grow closer. Sometimes these can lead to more exciting stuff if you know what I mean.
3. Be Vulnerable around your partner
Let him/her in your darkest secrets, your saddest moments, your happiest moments, let him/her see you cry. See who she is, let her see the real man in you. Vulnerability will create a sense of friendship between you two. Be open with him or her, share your relationship histories with each other. Be who you are not a perfect version of you, let your flaws show and your strengths show, this will encourage a stronger friendship between you two. Do not hide your inadequacies or insecurities, let her see that you are not a orderly person or let him know you can’t cook.
4. Engage Playful Banter
Playfully engage in a banter. Do not cross the line with sarcastic comments or insultive words but engage in good-natured teasing, playful insults, playful arguments. Do things like you do with your friends. Respect each other though and let things flow between you. Don’t be too rigid or strict to have a fun exchange with your partner.
5. Wear each other’s clothes
“Hey, can I borrow your tennis shoes today? ” shouldn’t be weird to either of you. Wear each other clothes and shoes and be comfortable doing so. This will create both a friendship bond and deepen the closeness between you. You also get to perceive your partner’s scent, now that is an added bonus.
6. Be Honest
You both should practice honesty. Speak to each other earnestly and shy away from having secrets. Tell each other the truth about anything and everything. This will build trust between both of you.
7. Have ‘Together’ times
Do things together like cooking, like watching a particular series together or following a particular series. Have things that you do together and with each other.
The secret of turning your lover to your best friend and lover at the same time lies in the fact that you need to be free around / with your partner and s/he should be too.
If you are in love with your friend, you need to let her or him know, do not be afraid that the relationship will be awkward, trust me it is the best kind of relationship.
Friendship is the thread that a beautiful relationship is woven with. This has been Relationship Corner with Eddie Schwaggs