Compromising in Love

“Learn the wisdom of compromise, for it is better to bend a little than to break.”
—Jane Wells

Compromise when it comes to relationships, is the ability to reach a common ground on certain issues with your partner. One of the major ingredients of a successful and wonderful relationship is compromise because you can’t fully love someone without being willing to give something up for the person’s happiness. Unlike sacrifice that requires one person to give up something precious for one’s partner’s happiness and for the sake of a beautiful relationship, compromise involves both parties coming together to reach a middle ground on an issue or agreeing to disagree. Compromise gives your relationship a certain flow, find detours when you think you have gotten to end of the road, and build a feeling of team spirit within the both of you.

Though compromise is a beautiful strategy, it has to be done properly and carefully to avoid feelings of resentment and anger both in a long and short run because one party will be feeling marginalized if it isn’t. For any solution to be a compromise, it means that both of you have given up something for it. For instance when you and your lover goes to a cinema, you want to watch a romantic comedy and your partner wants to watch a thriller, you both can decide to watch horror movie, hereby letting go of your initial craving for mutual happiness. Also never compromise when you are angry because anger can be blinding and prevent you from seeing the prospects of a healthy compromise. If there is an issue, say you always do the dishes and your partner doesn’t, instead of exploding in anger at the unfairness of it all, calm your nerves, relax and talk to your partner about handling the dishes even if it comes to setting a schedule for washing plates that you both can agree on, and don’t be afraid to ask for help on how to compromise on certain issues.

There are always things to compromise on, issues that both of you will be at logger heads on. There are important things like the way you fight. We all have our personal fighting styles. Some of us might keep a lid on our emotions till later and explode (this is not a good fighting style though), some might want to address the issue at the heated moment, others will want moments to cool off, you and your partner need to have a fighting style suitable for both of you. You also need to understand each other ‘s sexual urge and libido, if your partner has a high libido and you, a low one, find a common place where both of you can be sexually satisfied. You also should learn to compromise on your finances, you should both know what is necessary and affordable to both of you, do not get any thing that attracts any of your attention. Make sure you both draw a budget that favors both of you. Time is of essence, if you are person who has a personality trait of being late and your partner an early person, find a way to compromise on time when you want to spend time together. Also share mutual hobbies, it helps your ability to compromise. The key to compromise however, is understanding each other, what makes each other tick, this will help you both compromise on things without hurting each other.

As amazing as the power of compromise is, there are things you shouldn’t compromise on. These things will remove the you in you and wipe away the light of your existence, turning you to the person who your partner wants you to be. Do not forget that your partner met you with certain values and morals and beliefs, you shouldn’t for any reason give up who you are to please your partner. Though there are flaws we all work on, your friends, your dreams, your relationship with your family, career goals, the way you feel about you and your core beliefs and values shouldn’t be tampered with. The way your partner treats you, shouldn’t be a thing to compromise on, your partner needs to respect and protect and defend you at all times.

Our love lives are the second most important thing in our lives, first being our relationship with God, and the third, our career or jobs, compromising the right way helps us avoid a lot of heartache in this part of our lives. This has been Relationship Corner with Eddie Schwaggs.