Pride in Love

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“It’s okay to lose your pride over someone you love. Don’t lose someone you love over your pride.”

The saying that “Pride goes before a fall” is not only true for human relationships with one another but it’s also true in love, sometimes the fall can be physical like when a proud lady refuses help with her heels, lands butt first on the ground. Every person, no matter the background has a degree of pride in him or her, this pride which often times may be called self respect, is very healthy for our general well-being. However when this pride goes beyond self respect and starts to dine with inflated ego, there is a huge cause for concern. When you are in a relationship with a proud person, there will be a lot of issues and fights because the person will always feel he or she is right and never wrong.

Pride in many forms have caused many breakups and divorce in recent times. Ranging from a proud partner who sees no fault in his or her ways to little acts of pride like “I paid for the last dinner, he should pay” or “I wash the toilet last time, she should do it this time.” to even more disturbing ones like waiting for your partner to say sorry when there is a fight, it can be seen everywhere. Pride destroys love, it smolders sacrifice and kills romance. Love is not proud, love is kind, love is humble, we keep forgetting these facts when our pride kicks in. Though no one should be taken for granted or have their dignity trampled upon, yet we should know when we are crossing the line between self respect and pride.

Dealing with a proud partner can be tough, especially when s/he is overbearing, always right, and conceited. You may feel breakup is the only option but love keeps you going. There are ways to deal with a proud lover, the tips are

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I. Persevere

Though it is not easy, one of the ways to deal with a proud partner is to persevere. Every one has flaws, every one deals with his own demons, take this as a character flaw and help your partner through it with patience and love.

II. Romantic Communication

Talk sweetly to him or her about this character flaw. You know your partner weak points, places and habits that will make him or her feel special and loved. Explore these points and table this problem with him or her, let your partner understand that you love him or her so much and this pride is causing a rift between you two, if s/he cares and loves you, he or she will try to change.

III. Change does not come overnight

When your partner pledges to change, remember change doesn’t come overnight. Be supportive, and do not use any opportunity to mock or remind of the person he or she is trying to change. Always be empathetic to your lover, remember that the feelings of pride might hide signs of a deeper emotional or psychological issues your partner is dealing with. As Pastor Sam Adeyemi once said “Don’t be proud, for pride in itself, is a sign of low self esteem.” this can’t be more true. Be emphathetic to your partner.

Being a proud partner does you no good, it can cause a lot of problems between you and the one you love. If you are proud, here are tips to curb your pride

I. Admit You are Proud

This is the first and major step in becoming a better and humble partner not a proud one. Accepting your flaws, taking courage, self respect and self love. Address those issues that has made you that proud person you are. What are your insecurities? Your problems? Identify them and deal with them.

II. You need Help

After you have admitted you are proud, admit you need help. As a friend once said “you will drown in the oceans if you don’t bring your hands out and scream for help.” admit you need help and then solicit for the help. From friends, from family, from therapists if necessary, do what you must to be better version of your self.

III. Accept Change

It’s not enough to follow up with these two steps but you also need to accept the help and advice given to you which will lead to change in lifestyle, taste, behavior and most importantly character. Accept the change that comes with the help and be able to adapt to new habits that comes with being humble.

Pride ruins everything, don’t let it ruin your relationship and your life, do away with pride. This has been Relationship Corner with Eddie Schwaggs

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