The end of a serious relationship can be heart wrenching. You may have given the relationship your best, your attention, your heart, and everything yet it amounted to nothing. It can hurt badly, terribly. People deal with pain differently, some people will take time to heal and avoid all types of relationships, others will have rebounds. Rebounds is a romantic relationship that people have immediately after a serious and/or a long term relationship ended,especially when the serious relationship ended badly leaving both or one partner broken and emotionally wrecked. Most people date the next available person because they feel lonely, crave intimacy and want to feel that they are loved by someone.
Relationship experts and sexologists have argued back and forth on whether rebounds are healthy or not. From research and everyday experience, it has been proven that 90 % rebound relationships end up terribly and don’t last more than three months. The reason for the negativity that surrounds rebound relationships is that rebound individual are not usually emotional ready and might be commitment phobic. In this sort of relationship, the new partner is usually the giver and the rebound individual the reciever. That is because they rarely open up to their new partners for fear of being hurt, they only need their new partner when they feel lonely or sad, they don’t involve their “new lover” in their everyday life, and they are mostly about sex or money. According to research, individuals who have rebounds, have higher self esteem, the rebound also boost their esteem, help them forget their ex, help them heal faster than if they were on their own but all these virtues favors only one partner which is the rebound partner while the new partner might not get anything from relationship and might get his or her heart broken if s/he has already fallen in love. The only way a rebound relationship can favor both partner is if the rebound individual treats the relationship as a new relationship.
Most people don’t know that they having a rebound with a new partner, they may be blinded by pain and anger to realize what they are doing. If you keep yapping about your ex to your partner, comparing his or her pros and cons to your ex then you having a rebound. If your last relationship just ended few days or few weeks ago and you are in a new one, you are in rebound. If you still feel like killing your ex and the mere mention of his or her name even when you are seeing someone new, drives you crazy, you are in a rebound. Finally if you are afraid of being who you are, not, opening up to your new partner about yourself then you are in a rebound. If you are just entering into a relationship and your partner exhibits one or all of this qualities then your partner is using you as rebound.
Rebound relationships are not healthy for both partners ,though it might be healthy for one. If you just got out of a serious relationship and you don’t want anything serious or personal, let your new partner know from the onset, let him/her know what exactly you want, don’t lead them on. In this way both of you enjoy a commitment free relationship, a more physical relationship. The best way to deal with the heart ache is to take the time off, to grow up to be better and understand who you are, learn from your mistakes in the relationship and prepare for the next relationship. This has been Relationship Corner with Eddie Schwaggs