Nigerian drummer and musician Ara The Drummer has shared her views on intimacy and relationships, explaining that she believes sex goes beyond physical pleasure and creates a much deeper emotional and spiritual connection between people.
Speaking during an appearance on the Under Her Skin Podcast, the veteran performer said many people underestimate the level of access and vulnerability that comes with being intimate with another person.
“Sex is not just enjoyment; it’s literally just putting your life’s plan in somebody’s hands,” she said.
Drawing a comparison between intimacy and sharing sensitive personal information, Ara explained that people often protect their passwords and financial details, yet may not apply the same level of caution to their relationships.
“You don’t give someone the PIN to your ATM card or the password to your email. When you sleep with someone, they can access you,” she stated.
The drummer further described intimacy as a powerful connection that allows another person to become deeply involved in one’s emotional and spiritual space.
“You are giving them the code to your spirit, to your realm, and they can do and undo with you,” she said.
She also reflected on conversations around physical boundaries and why some people attempt to separate certain forms of intimacy from others.
“Why do you think some girls say things like, ‘Unless you didn’t touch my breast’? Why do you think they say those kinds of things? It’s deep,” Ara said.
According to her, regardless of how people choose to define the experience, intimacy still creates a significant bond between those involved.
“Some people would say, ‘I didn’t touch the breast, I only entered from behind,’ but you still entered. Once you give someone that access, they can summon you; they can do anything to you,” she added.
Ara also revealed that her perspective has been shaped by personal experiences, admitting that she has made mistakes in the past by becoming intimate with people she believes were not right for her.
“I have fallen many times because I laid with the wrong person,” she revealed.
Her comments have since sparked conversations online about relationships, emotional attachment, personal values, and the different ways individuals view intimacy and boundaries.