A woman who has refused to split the bill on any date has attacked her detractors who label her a ‘money digger’ and’selfish’ for insisting that ladies ‘never split the bill during a date.’
Guys who ask them to contribute, according to Ella Freimann, 24, a dating coach from New York, ‘don’t value the time and effort they put into looking their best for the man.’
She believes being with someone who isn’t generous with his wallet is not an option – but she insisted it’s not because she’s ‘money hungry.’
Instead, the 24-year-old explained that believes potential suitors should always cover the entire check because she has high standards and ‘knows what she brings to the table.’
‘By splitting the bill, I’m agreeing to form a connection with a man who doesn’t know his role in a relationship and expects me to be 50 percent of the man he’s not,’ she told NeedToKnow.co.uk recently.
‘By splitting the bill, I’m agreeing to form a connection with a man who doesn’t know his role in a relationship and expects me to be 50 per cent of the man he’s not,’ she told NeedToKnow.co.uk recently.
’50/50 men don’t understand that the woman’s investment was made prior to the date.
Ella explained that it’s less about the money and more about quantifying the effort that a man is willing to put in.
The dating coach added that by not contributing to the check, she feels like she is ‘keeping her dignity intact’ and ‘avoiding bad experiences’ with the man in the future.
‘Most people think that we’re selfish, but I don’t think that’s the truth,’ she continued. ‘A high-value woman knows what she brings to the table and expects the same in return.
‘Another assumption is [that] we don’t work or we’re lazy, but a woman with high standards in dating always makes sure that the man is able to provide for both, in case she doesn’t want to work.
‘I’ve seen women building their businesses and focusing on themselves while being provided for by a man.
‘And [when it comes to] being reduced to our looks, although a woman’s beauty is a valuable aspect, we understand the value a woman brings to a relationship, such as emotional stability, nurturing qualities, and support.
‘Many studies have shown that men can’t live without a woman — we better a man’s life in all aspects, and since we know what we bring, we expect the man to bring his part.’
One of the most common negative comments that Ella has received is people who call her a ‘gold digger.’
‘The term “gold digger” refers to a woman that’s money-hungry. However, the term has been thrown around to every woman that decides to raise her standards in dating and expects her partner to be financially stable and to provide for her,’ she explained.
‘Sadly, there’re a lot of men who are frustrated with their lives, they are not financially stable, and that makes them deeply insecure.
‘I feel like women should learn a few things from gold diggers, they always ask for what they want.
‘Men have no issue asking for intimacy and submissiveness from a woman, so why should we be hesitant to get our needs met?’
Another thing she’s fiercely against is coffee dates, which she described as a ‘waste of time’ and ‘disrespectful to women.’
‘It says a lot about a man’s intentions with that woman [if he wants to go on a coffee date],’ she added.
‘A man that proposes a coffee date doesn’t perceive you as worthy of his time and effort, and probably is diversifying his money so he can date as many women as he can with the minimum effort.’
Ella said her high standards were instilled in her from a young age, thanks to her parents.
‘I was fortunate enough to grow up with both of my parents so I had a clear example of how gender roles build the foundation of a healthy and long-lasting relationship,’ she told the outlet.
‘I grew up with a providing father and a nurturing mother who had the luxury of raising her children and being a stay-home mother.’
Ella is currently in a long-term relationship, but she also said her advice has ‘turned around’ many of her clients’ dating lives.
‘I helped a girl who had a past of dating broke men who did nothing for her and she confessed to me that she was tired of splitting the bill, getting disrespected, and being cheated on,’ she revealed.
‘After I coached her, she was able to build her self-esteem and gain confidence in herself.
‘Now she’s in a stable relationship where she is fully provided for and her boyfriend founded her successful business.
‘I also recently coached a very intelligent woman who is a financial advisor.
‘She works in a place full of rich men and millionaires but struggled to get the right attention and to be approached by men who took her seriously.
‘Through various sessions of coaching, she was able to feel comfortable in her femininity and setting boundaries, which led her to have a pool of men ready to court her and pursue her for a serious relationship.’
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