Lead Pastor of Harvesters International Christian Centre (HICC), Pastor Bolaji Idowu, has stirred widespread debate after a sermon in which he told women, “Ladies, you are not called to build your man; you are called to support your man.”
A viral video from the sermon, which surfaced on X (formerly Twitter), shows Pastor Bolaji addressing his congregation as members erupted in cheers and applause. The message, however, has divided opinions online.
In his sermon, Pastor Bolaji cautioned women against assuming the role of a “saviour” in relationships. He explained that while support is essential, taking on the full responsibility of “building” a man often leads to imbalance and frustration.
“Some of you have positioned yourselves to be builders. My car is bad; I’ll fix it for you. I can’t pay house rent; I’ll do it for you,” he said.
“When you become a builder, you start taking on excessive responsibilities — acting like Mother Teresa and becoming the controller in the relationship.”
The clip has since generated heated discussions across social media platforms, with many dissecting his perspective on gender roles and modern relationships.
While some agreed with his point — saying a woman’s role should be supportive rather than foundational — others argued that healthy relationships require mutual effort and shared responsibility, not rigid gender expectations.
Pastor Bolaji, known for his bold and sometimes controversial relationship teachings, has built a massive following online and offline through his church’s global platforms. His sermons often address contemporary relationship issues among young Christians.
“Ladies should stop building their men; you are meant to support them, not build them.”
–Pastor Bolaji Idowu advises female church members pic.twitter.com/uh9sabLoxd
— CHUKS 🍥 (@ChuksEricE) October 3, 2025
