Pastor and relationship coach Kingsley Okonkwo has sparked thoughtful conversations online after opening up about how his wife reshaped his understanding of emotional expression during their early dating years.
Sharing a candid reflection, Okonkwo admitted that love did not come naturally to him as his wife expected.
“My wife had to teach me how to love her. When we were dating, if I saw her on a Monday, I wouldn’t call her again until I was seeing her next. She practically told me, ‘See, you have to be calling me.’”
“I Didn’t Have the Emotional Stuff”
The pastor traced his reserved nature to his upbringing. Growing up in a household of five boys, with only his mother as the sole female figure, he said emotional expression was not emphasized.
“I grew up in a family of five boys; the only female in the family was my mom, and she is a soldier, not an average Nigerian woman, so I didn’t have the emotional stuff.”
“My wife had to teach me how to love her , when we were dating, if I see her on a Monday , I don’t call her till I’m seeing her again , she had to tell me to start calling her”
— Pastor Kingsley pic.twitter.com/gaGxHK9PW4
— Vampz (@Hybrid_Ola) February 11, 2026
According to him, his wife’s direct communication about her needs helped him adjust and grow emotionally — a shift that strengthened their relationship.
Lessons on Love and Communication
His remarks have resonated widely, especially among married couples and young men navigating relationships. Many praised the honesty of admitting that:
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Love languages differ.
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Emotional intelligence can be learned.
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Marriage requires adaptation, not assumption.
Others highlighted the importance of spouses teaching and learning from one another, rather than expecting instinctive compatibility.
Kingsley Okonkwo’s reflection adds to ongoing conversations about emotional growth in marriage — reminding couples that love is not just felt, but often learned.
