Nollywood actor Daniel Etim-Effiong has stirred conversation around gender roles, marriage dynamics, and cultural expectations following a lighthearted yet thought-provoking exchange with his wife, Toyosi Etim-Effiong, on their podcast Transparent Talk.
During the episode, Daniel jokingly revisited a moment from their traditional wedding where Toyosi knelt to serve him cake, prompting him to ask why the gesture hadn’t continued in their marriage.
“Why can’t you kneel and serve me? You did it during our traditional wedding but not since then,” he asked playfully.
Toyosi clapped back with equal humor, reminding him,
“You’ve never knelt for me either since you proposed.”
Daniel defended his position, referencing traditional gender roles:
“I haven’t done that since proposing because traditionally, the man shouldn’t be kneeling. I’m your lord, and you fail to recognise that I’m your husbandman.”
The conversation then took a more serious turn as Daniel questioned the influence of culture in modern relationships.
“What role does culture play in a relationship? How positive is culture in a relationship?”
Toyosi countered with an insightful observation:
“Women don’t even kneel in your culture, the Efik culture. So it’s not something you grew up with.”
Daniel admitted that most of his understanding of kneeling and other such gestures came from his exposure to Yoruba culture.
“I’ve lived in Lagos all my life and I understand Yoruba culture. I even find myself bowing to greet the elderly. Efik men don’t do that; we stand upright and say ‘hello sir’. I started doing that because I married a Yoruba woman and because I love respecting elders.”
Toyosi agreed, adding that kneeling as a sign of respect to elders is a cultural norm she’s happy to maintain. But Daniel teased her one last time:
“You’d kneel for the elders, so why can’t you kneel for me?”
Their exchange has since gone viral, sparking spirited debates online about cultural compromise, traditional gender expectations, and modern marriage values.
